lessinayear

This will probably be my last blog till either very late Sunday or sometime Monday morning. Right after work today, sweet boyfriend and I, along with a local friend, are heading to my mom’s house to spend the night, because the airport we fly out of tomorrow morning is much closer to her house…

About 10 a.m. tomorrow we’re off to San Francisco for four days of playing! We’re meeting several of his friends from a previous job who are now scattered across the country. They get together annually for a little long-weekend reunion in different cities… This year, we’re doing the northern California thing!

Usually I kind of worry about food choices on trips, but I feel pretty good about this one. We are having cocktails Thursday night after we get in (and life’s too short to say no to a little wine when you’re that close to Napa Valley!), but beyond that, all the restaurants/meals we have planned are pretty healthy. We’re eating a vegetarian Indian restaurant after cocktails Thursday. Friday we’re doing dim sum for lunch and heading to a baseball game that night (OK, the food situation there might get a little tricky). Saturday we’re having seafood of some sort for lunch at Fisherman’s Wharf, and then we’re making dinner at our rental house with fresh stuff from the market that night. And Sunday, back home… Also, we’ll be on foot and touring most of the time, so I anticipate hoofing off a lot of what I take in.

Anyway, wishing everyone a good rest of the week, and weekend. Will see y’all in June — crazy how fast this month has gone!

So cardio stuff at the gym I feel pretty good about. I want to increase my speed on the bike and elliptical, but I’ve got the hang of the equipment, my stamina is decent, etc. What I need some advice about is the weight equipment. I really need to tone up as much as anything, and we all know that muscle helps you burn fat faster… I’m just super-intimidated by the weights!

I’m planning on getting back into my yoga in June after my grad school classes start — I’m just building it into my overbooked schedule! — and I know that will help some. (Seriously, for those of you who haven’t ever done yoga, when I was doing it consistently 3-4 years ago, I saw the most change in my body with the least effort ever — not so much weight loss, but weight distribution, strength, tone…amazing!) But I feel like I need to get myself on some of  the weight equipment too. Especially to target my jiggly upper arms… My legs are pretty strong; lingering muscle from childhood/adolescent soccer, biking, and horseback riding. But my upper body is kind of poor (especially since I’ve let the yoga practice fall aside).

So, all this babbling is to say — HELP! What advice do you have about getting started on a weightlifting regimen? How easy-to-use are most of the machines? (I’m so intimidated by them, I’ve not even looked at them, I’m embarrassed to admit — I keep my distance from them in the gym!) How many reps should I do of each thing? How much weight should I use — is it better for it to be relatively easy and do more reps, or heavier and do less? Do you find the weight machines a good way to do it, or am I overcomplicating things? Should I just try to use free weights? Again: HELP!!!

Thanks, y’all!

I hate going to the gym, but I love leaving it. What I mean is, it’s hard to motivate myself to put on the workout clothes and drive over there and get started… And the first five minutes or so suck — I’m not going to lie. But after that point, after I kind of get in the “groove” of working out, it feels great. For me it’s kind of about getting over the 10-minute mark, and then I think I could do the elliptical or exercise bike forever (and I usually DO do it for 45 minutes to an hour). Afterward, I feel a little wobbly, and then I walk around the track a couple of times to cool down, and then stretch out… And I feel awesome! So energized and healthy and good!

That’s what I just have to keep reminding myself of — the immediate payoff of feeling great, even as the first few stubborn pounds are fighting me about falling off. Because it feels good to feel good!

I got up and got dressed this morning — wearing a skirt and top I’ve had for ages. As my weight has fluctuated, so has the fit of these clothes; at one point, I could pull the skirt up over my hips without unzipping it. Well, not so anymore! But what I found odd was that over the weekend when I went swimming, my swimsuit bottom was a little loose. Sigh… Clothes are such a trial. I have some things I think I look pretty good in, but most things these days are really disappointing. I’ve noticed that a lot of the weight I’ve gained has settled in my hips, but my butt is still relatively firm… But no one can tell that because I’ve got to get something big enough for my hips to fit in!

I think I’m obsessing about this because I leave early Thursday morning for a mini-vacation to San Francisco with my boyfriend and a group of his friends. It’s the first time I’m meeting most of them in person (they live spread out all over the country, and they only get togehter once a year), and I want to “impress” them. I’m just sort of frustrated with the packing process…

Anyway, someday I will fit into a standard (one-digit — dare to dream!) size of clothes, that will actually fit all areas of my body at once! Woohoo!

Hope everyone (stateside, that is!) is having a good Memorial Day holiday. I know I’ve enjoyed the three-day weekend!

It was a great weekend…on a lot of levels. Friday I got off work early and my boyfriend took me out for sushi. There’s a really good sushi place in Knoxville (believe it or not!) called Nama. I rarely go because it’s prices are a little steep, but… Sweet boyfriend had a gift certificate he’d been saving, so we indulged! After lunch we did a favor for a friend who’s getting married next month — drove to the church where her wedding is and from there to the reception site to “test run” her directions. It was a LOVELY afternoon for a ride in my convertible!

Saturday was also really pretty… We slept in (blissful) and dropped off boyfriend’s mandolin at the music store for restringing, grabbed lunch, watched a movie…

Sunday was the best. We got up and went to the gym (he’s not a big gym-goer, but he’s a good sport about it when I ask him to go with me), and followed up 45 minutes on the elliptical with about an hour in the pool. Not intense swimming, but a few laps, and some water treading and such, as well as some restful floating. And then one of my best friends called and he and his wife and daughter were going to be in town for dinner, so we joined them for a tasty meal and a great visit.

Today has been a lazy day, but food-wise it’s been good, and I’m about cap off the day with a healthy dinner of edamame (yum!). I sort of “cheated” and weighed myself again today, and, sure enough, I was down a pound from yesterday… But I’m not going to record that loss; just wait and see what next Sunday brings and try not to obsess too much about the scales in the meantime.

A good start of the week to everyone…

Blah… I just weighed for the week, and I’m just even. No weight lost… I’m not surprised — it was not a great week in terms of exercise, and it wasn’t terribly excellent in terms of food either. But still…boo.

Anyway, I feel like I have a good start on next week: went to the gym for about an hour today, followed by an hour in the pool. Hopefully that will be a good jumpstart for this coming week.

Hope everyone is having a good Memorial Day weekend. Will try to log on tomorrow and spend some more quality time checking in with everyone!

Those are pretty much my plans for the long weekend.

The past several weeks have been very on-the-go. Work was really busy at the beginning of the month, and then I had several weekend things going on — a wedding, a fundraiser I helped organize, a couple short road trips… Next weekend we’re taking a long weekend trip with some friends to San Francisco. But THIS weekend we’re at home. And we have NO plans we’re obligated to! I’m so excited!

I should get off work early today (my boss is great about telling us to cut out early before a holiday). Then I’m meeting my boyfriend for lunch at a great sushi place downtown. Depending on the weather, after that we might go for a walk at the lake, or we might just have a quiet at-home-with-the-pets afternoon… The rest of the weekend, we’re playing mostly by ear, but we’ve discussed going to the mountains and hiking (REALLY hope the weather cooperates and we can do that!), making a batch of our homemade granola (seriously, SO good, and definitely less processed and preservatized than store-bought), and I’m planning to check out a brand-new yoga studio that’s opening in town on Sunday afternoon.

Should leave plenty of time for rest and relaxation… And also laundry and housecleaning, both of which also have to happen!

That said, happy Memorial Day to all!

I work full-time (and then some…). I do some volunteer work regularly. I’m also in the process of working on my master’s degree. I’ve had May off from school, but I’m taking a summer class that’s super-intense and condensed in the month of June. There are pros and cons to this: I get a whole class over with in just a month instead of dragging it out over a whole semester! But — I have to condense a whole class into a month versus a whole semester!

Basically, I’m going to be BUSY. Swamped, in fact. And that makes me nervous on the healthy lifestyle front. If I didn’t have obligations like work and school and volunteering and family and friends… Sure, I could workout all the time and eat really well! But when I’m booked nonstop from 6:30 a.m. till 10 p.m., that’s a lot less convenient.

I know we all have busy lives — families, jobs, kids, significant others… How do we balance our obligations to others and the commitments we’ve made with our own needs and the commitment to oursleves and our health?

The upcoming adjustment to my schedule worries me. I think about yesterday when I had a pretty easy, open day. I was able to leave work for a while in the afternoon and go on an hourlong walk. I was able to leave work right on time, go by the grocery and pick up stuff to make dinner, and head home to make a healthy, homemade, veggie-filled meal. I had time to relax as well as get things done around the house, help my boyfriend with a project he’s working on, respond to some e-mails… And still got to bed about 11 for a good night’s sleep. I’m anxious that in June, work will inevitably pick back up, and/or I’ll have to use the “slow times” for homework, not walking or the gym. I’ll head to class when work is over, and sit in there for 4+ hours, two nights a week, and not have time to cook; I’ll just have time to grab Taco Bell on the way home, stay up doing homework, and collapse into bed, not feeling well-rested…

I’m also being a little whiney and pessimistic. It’s just hard to feel like I’m on a good start, and know that a pretty big roadblock is just ahead. I’m going to spend some time over the long weekend trying to figure out how to schedule things efficiently so I have time for everything and everyone that’s important to me — including ME!

I know how annoying it is when women won’t shut up about how great their boyfriends/husbands are. I know, because for YEARS I have been the one without a significant other to speak of, and it’s annoying to have it thrown in your face all the happiness you’re missing. So for years I bounced around from guy to guy, looking for some semblance of this great relationship it seemed like all of my friends and acquaintances had. Needless to say, that didn’t really work out so well…

So I had determined a long time ago that I was never going to get married. I’m very self-sufficient, successful in my career, etc. I do want kids, but I have done some extensive investigation into adoption, and was fully prepared to go down that path alone.

All of this is to say, I don’t want to be “that girl” who’s always gushing about her man. But, I’ve been realizing a lot lately that having FINALLY found the right man, it really DOES make a difference in other aspects of your life, in ways I hadn’t anticipated.

I want to be clear that I’m in no way trying to lose weight “for him.” And it is certainly not something he has, or ever would, asked me to do. In fact, he tells me every day, several times a day, how beautiful I am. And I appreciate that and I believe him: I AM beautiful! But I’m also overweight (obese, in fact — how I hate that word!), and I would be healthier and happier with myself if I lost weight. And having his support in other aspects of my life makes me feel like I can lose weight.

In skimming through folks’ blogs, I’ve seen a lot of people talking about their relationships, or lack of relationships, and I know the effect they can have. Especially for some of you ladies who are younger — in your late teens and early 20s — please take some advice from an “old” gal over 30:

1. You’re FAR better off on your own than with someone who treats you badly.
2. If he’s not supportive of you in your goals — whether that’s your weight loss, your work, your school, your hobbies, whatever — he’s not worth your time.
3. Even if it feels like it’s never going to get better for you, it will. The things I was worried about when I was 22 make me kind of laugh now. That’s not to make light of anything anyone is going through — it’s just to say that hindsight is 20/20 and some perspective on any problem helps an awful lot.
4. When you find someone who loves you like they’re supposed to, you’ll wonder what the heck you were thinking all those times before. But don’t beat yourself up about mistakes and “wasted time”; you were learning lessons that made you stronger and got you ready for the good stuff!
5. It’s a two-way street — when you find someone good, be good back to him. It’s not always perfect, but it should feel like perfection is possible with him.

So, those are my relationship ramblings for the day. I’ve just been thinking about it since I woke up… The alarm went off and he rolled over and spooned up behind me and put his arm around me, and about the time I thought, “I’m so gross — I wish I didn’t have these stupid fat rolls on my stomach for him to have to touch,” he said, “Every day I feel so lucky to be in love with you.” And I decided to listen to him instead.

I keep a journal where I write down quotations that I come across that move me, inspire me, make me laugh, make me think… I was flipping through it this afternoon to find a quote to include in a card to a friend, and while I was flipping through I noticed this statement by Ellen Sue Stern: “Believing in our hearts that who we are is enough is the key to a more satisfying and balanced life.”

HOW TRUE. For a long time I have not believed who I am was enough. I have always thought that I needed to be a little smarter, a little funnier, a little kinder, and — heaven knows — a lot thinner.

That said, I would not have described myself as having low self-esteem. I actually really like myself; I’ve just seen a lot of room for improvement. Over the past several months, though, I’ve felt more satisfied with myself and my life than ever before. And oddly, with that sort of contentment, has come the motivation to actually do something about my body and my health, in a way that feels different than ever before.

It’s sort of this weird revelation that when you’re happy with who and what and where you are, you suddenly have the capacity to move to even the next level of happiness.