lessinayear

I’ve been MIA for about a week — sorry about that, friends! I was out of town Friday through LATE Monday, and then Tuesday was a totally lost day trying to catch up at work. Yesterday was better… Till I had a huge new project thrown at me. It’s just been a crazy few days, even for checking e-mail and stuff.

So let’s see… Over the weekend my boyfriend and I went to Canton, Ohio, for the NFL Hall of Fame inductions and expo game. We’re Titans fans, so it was a great game for us! We were there with one of his college friends, who’s a Bills fan — it was a little less fun for him. But truly, it was a great time getting to meet some of his friends, hang out, and watch some football! (I think I’m an overall happier person during football season!)

We left to head home on Monday, and stopped in Cincinnati at King’s Island to ride roller coasters on the way home! It was wonderful! We had such a good time. We both love stuff like that — it was a really great way to spend an afternoon. Of course, it meant getting home super-late…

And, when we got home, it was to my boyfriend’s smoke detectors going off. They’re all hard-wired together through his alarm system, so if one goes, they all go… There was no fire, thank goodness, but his alarm system is ALL jacked up. We were up till the wee hours of the morning trying to get the alarms to shut up, figure out the issue, call repair people… Boo.

Poor boyfriend… He’s having a really hard time lately. He has gained some weight — not a ton, but some — and he’s feeling really bad about it. He knows I find him attractive, but he’s worried about his health (his dad is significantly overweight, and he doesn’t want to start down that path). He’s pondering doing Weight Watchers. I’ve never tried it, but it doesn’t seem like my kind of plan… However, as boyfriend acknowledged, he does a lot better when there’s a “system” to anything he’s attempting, so it may be great for him. We talked about it a lot yesterday and I’ve told him I’m 100% behind whatever he wants to do, and I’ll cook whatever we need to, help him keep track of points (or however it works — I’m clueless!), continue to be the gym motivator (even more so)…

I just don’t want him to feel bad about himself. He’s too wonderful for an extra 20-25 pounds to make him this upset.

I think the next couple of weeks will be interesting as we figure out what plan will work best for him and really (re)commit to our health.

I told myself when I first started on BuddySlim that I’d set mini-goals for myself every 10 pounds. (One of these days, I’m actually going to make it to that first one!) And I also decided that every 10 pounds I would treat myself to a massage — a good massage, with my favorite therapist, at the pricey place I ordinarily wouldn’t splurge on.

I’m six pounds away, and MAN, I want that massage! I have been eating well this week, and there’s no reason that shouldn’t continue. I’m getting in gym time. I’m drinking my water. I don’t want to jinx it, but I think this week should be a loss, maybe of a couple or three pounds even… If I could do that for the next 2 or 3 weeks in a row… Massage by mid-August! Want that so much!

Last night my boyfriend and I had our gym date. Right after work we headed to the gym and did 35 minutes each on the elliptical, plus some stretching and a couple of cool down laps on the track. It was great — and I was really pleased: Despite like a week and a half with no cardio, I was still able to do an 11-minute mile without feeling overtaxed. (Yes, I realize that’s not super-fast, but for me, it’s a big improvement over what I used to be able to do, and I’m recommitting myself to celebrating the victories!) So anyway, I did just over 3 miles, burned about 450 calories (per the machine reading) and felt really great afterward.

My boyfriend did too, and on the way home, he told me he really wanted to start going to the gym more, but that he was going to need me to be the “instigator” of that — that he realized he didn’t have the motivation in himself, but if I’d suggest it and help him get into the habit, that would really make him happy.

THAT is exactly the motivation I need. It’s just my personality — I do my best when I’m doing something for someone else. I’m really “other-motivated.” So it can feel selfish if I go to the gym by myself and make that “me time” (even though I need “me time” and am trying to be better about giving myself some; it’s just hard for me), but if we go to the gym together and I know that he’s depending on me to lead in that endeavor… That will really help keep me on track.

So yay! I’m happy he’s willing to go with me, because it’s more fun to have someone there, even though we both have our iPods on and ignore each other for like 45 minutes or an hour. It’s just good to have the moral support! And I’m glad he’s willing to start taking better care of himself. We’re about to celebrate his 30th birthday… By the time we get married and have kids, we’ll both be in our mid-30s, and I want us to be as healthy and hearty as possible!

All of that is to say yesterday was good, and I think will start a trend for us. I’ll keep y’all posted!

This evening I have a date both with and at the gym. I have a “gym date” with myself — I am not happy with how I’ve scheduled my time lately, and my lack of time at the gym, so I need to remedy that. But I also have a “gym date” with my boyfriend, because he’s coming with me.

His mom recently quit smoking, which is a huge deal after decades of cigarettes. In the process, she has gained some weight, and she’s been complaining to him about that. I think it’s gotten him thinking a lot about weight and health and so forth… I hope so, at least! As much as it’s nice to have online support from folks, it’s incredibly more motivating for me to have someone here, in “real life,” who will get up and go to exercise with me.

I’ve made a big impact on the way he eats. In the BD era (Before Dating), he was a huge fast food eater. As in, every day, every meal. Now, we cook at home almost all the time. He’s been shocked at how much money he’s saving, and how much better he feels… Now, if I can just get him on the regular exercise train…

Anyway, if anyone has any tips on motivating the people around you to join you in your exercise and healthy lifestyle choices, I’d love to hear them. Happy Wednesday!

I set up a challenge for the month of June - an attempt to lose 10 pounds. I set up the challenge mostly because I knew my grad school course, on top of full-time work, on top of personal obligations, was going to make it REALLY hard to stick to a healthy eating or exercise plan. And I was right… But having the challenge kept me accountable, gave me something very concrete to shoot for, and offered me some great support from my challenge buddies (yay team!).

So I just weighed in to see what the June outcome was… And I did NOT lose 10 pounds. During June, I lost five pounds - half the goal.

BUT, you know what? That last pound that I’ve lost since Sunday’s weigh-in (actually half-pound, but I only count in “wholes” and round up when I get the .5 on the scale - lol) puts me at 199. Welcome to Onederland!

I’m very glad to be out of the 200s again. This time for good. I promise y’all. More importantly, I promise myself. I feel really motivated about being down into the 100s, even if I’m just barely there. I can’t wait to wrap up tomorrow’s final class (YIPPEE!) and head to the lake for swimming and skiing and Frisbee and all the other exercise that I’ll get there, as well as some relaxing with my boyfriend, his family, and other friends.

I’m feeling good this afternoon, y’all - hope you all are too!

I’ve been a little quiet the past couple of days. No blogs, because I’ve been trying to get my work done for the conclusion of my summer class. THANK GOODNESS it’s over this coming Thursday, July 2. But, less cool is the fact that basically my entire grade in the course comes down to that day — I have to give my in-class presentation that day, as well as turn in a short and a long paper, all at once! So yes, I’ve been stressing. This weekend has been full of homework, and freaking out about homework, and more homework…

Anyway, I got up early this morning to get back to work on my long paper (the biggest source of stress) and decided a Sunday that begins at 6:30 a.m. can’t get much worse…might as well go ahead and weigh-in. I was nervous about this week. I’ve had a couple of maintain weeks in a row that have disappointed, and I didn’t get to the gym toward the end of the week like I’d hoped (partially school and partially an unexpected visit from an out-of-town friend Friday that changed my plans). I also had wine with said friend, so I figured those calories might have messed things up…

But I sucked it up, got on the scale, and… 200! I’m down 2 pounds! (OK, just between us, it was ACTUALLY 199.5, and a big part of me wants to just go with 199, but I’ve been rounding up, so I’m going to keep with that… Just SO CLOSE to the success of Onederland!)

So I was reflecting on how that was the case, and I have a few thoughts. First, one of my personal struggles with weight loss is portion control. If you put it in front of me, I’m GOING to eat it, whether I’m hungry or not, whether I want it or not… I’ve REALLY been working on that. For me, I think that’s almost a bigger deal than exercise — recognizing that if I’m not exercising as much, I don’t need to eat as much… And I DID think about that a lot this past week. I knew, for example, that I wasn’t going to be able to make the gym Wednesday because of some meetings and deadlines at work, so I adjusted my food intake accordingly. Even Friday, when my plans to go to the gym turned into a lunch with wine with a friend, since I knew I was drinking some calories, and not exercising, I adjusted what I ordered for my meal, how much of it I ate, and also what I had for dinner that night…

And holy crap! It worked!

I know this isn’t rocket science, but it’s a pretty powerful reflection for me this morning. I feel really re-motivated by seeing that scale movement, and I’m SO happy that I just have to make it through Thursday’s final summer class and then I can throw myself more wholeheartedly into my exercise without the distraction of grad school for more than a month. Anyway, hope everyone has an equally eye-opening, inspiring Sunday!

Over the weekend I was reading newspapers, and I wish I’d paid better attention to where I ready this, because I’d like to give more appropriate credit. But anyway, some newspaper had a small feature where they were asking everyday people to summarize their life/outlook in six words or less — a huge challenge, obviously. A lot of people had things to the effect of “I love my husband and kids” of course. Some people had funny and irreverent things. But one really struck me: “If he can exercise, I can.” And there was a note next to that one that said who the woman ws talking about… President Obama.

I refuse to talk politics with anyone, so this isn’t about whether you like or don’t like Obama, whether you’re Republican or Democrat, etc. But regardless of your politics, you have to recognize that, yes, President Obama is the leader of the nation — of “the free world,” as we like to say — and the man does take time to exercise and be healthy. It really hit home with me: “If he can exercise, I can.”

Today was one of those days where it would be easy to make excuses about why not to exercise. My boyfriend is sick. I had to take my car to the shop for repairs, and what was supposed to take one and a half hours took nearly six. I’m behind at work and had to spend the rest of my day (after the car mess) catching up on a project that’s due by the end of the week. I have homework for my class tomorrow.

But I’m not leading a nation, and “if he can exercise, I can.” So, even though I’m tired, even though I’d rather just sit here, yes — I just pulled out my hand weights and went through a few sets of lifting. And every time I want to whine about how busy I am, I’m going to remind myself one more time: “If he can exercise, I can.”

I hate going to the gym, but I love leaving it. What I mean is, it’s hard to motivate myself to put on the workout clothes and drive over there and get started… And the first five minutes or so suck — I’m not going to lie. But after that point, after I kind of get in the “groove” of working out, it feels great. For me it’s kind of about getting over the 10-minute mark, and then I think I could do the elliptical or exercise bike forever (and I usually DO do it for 45 minutes to an hour). Afterward, I feel a little wobbly, and then I walk around the track a couple of times to cool down, and then stretch out… And I feel awesome! So energized and healthy and good!

That’s what I just have to keep reminding myself of — the immediate payoff of feeling great, even as the first few stubborn pounds are fighting me about falling off. Because it feels good to feel good!

I keep a journal where I write down quotations that I come across that move me, inspire me, make me laugh, make me think… I was flipping through it this afternoon to find a quote to include in a card to a friend, and while I was flipping through I noticed this statement by Ellen Sue Stern: “Believing in our hearts that who we are is enough is the key to a more satisfying and balanced life.”

HOW TRUE. For a long time I have not believed who I am was enough. I have always thought that I needed to be a little smarter, a little funnier, a little kinder, and — heaven knows — a lot thinner.

That said, I would not have described myself as having low self-esteem. I actually really like myself; I’ve just seen a lot of room for improvement. Over the past several months, though, I’ve felt more satisfied with myself and my life than ever before. And oddly, with that sort of contentment, has come the motivation to actually do something about my body and my health, in a way that feels different than ever before.

It’s sort of this weird revelation that when you’re happy with who and what and where you are, you suddenly have the capacity to move to even the next level of happiness.

It was about this time last year that I totally stopped exercising. I was in school, and I just didn’t have the time or energy to devote to the gym. So I quit going. And for a while, I was eating well enough that I maintained my (already over)weight. But then I got more and more sedentary. And then I started eating worse and worse. And then I fell in love and packed on those pounds that seem to accompany bliss… Long story short is that I’m now approaching my all-time high weight again, and that’s unacceptable for a lot of reasons.

First and foremost, I want to be healthier. I want to be the kind of woman who goes for a couple-mile run and thinks of it as short and no big deal. Right now, I doubt I could run to my mailbox without feeling winded.

Secondly, my best friend is getting married next May. I want to look pretty in her wedding pictures–I would prefer for the photography from that day not to immortalize me as a whale.

Third, and equally superficially, but maybe more honestly and deeply than the health reason–I think it’s very likely that my boyfriend will ask me to marry him within the next year. I don’t want to shop for plus-size wedding dresses. I don’t want to be self-conscious about my flabby arms or my thunder thighs when it’s time to try on dresses. And I want to be the beauty that he deserves, not only on our wedding day, but every day.

I’ve tried diets before. Lots of diets, lots of times. I’ve had varying success, though never overwhelming success… I don’t know why I think this time will be different, but I do. I think because I have more compelling reasons now than I’ve ever had before.

So… This time next year, there will be less of me, but I’ll feel like a whole lot more.